Tea Party Accessories

You can't have an organization and not sell trinkets.  I'm surprised the Tea Party doesn't have a wine club yet!


Of course, everyone has t-shirts

and bumper stickers.  Ho hum

A nice tote bag that speaks the truth as only certain type of people see it.

This sign for your front yard is cool.
Use it if your neighbor's house is up for sale to keep the Blacks, Mexicans and Muslims from moving in.

So it's now apparent The Tequila Party needs to get into merchandising.   First, any good marketeer will want to play on what people associate with a particular name.

Okay, we've got your basic t-shirt, too

But we've even got a tequila "shooter"

Of course, many tequila lovers might want a t-shirt like this...

Creating Crises

We were trying to figure out why the Tea Party folks are so damn angry and what exactly they are angry about.   Then, after two shots (maybe more) of Casa Noble Reposado, it hit us like well, like a shot of tequila!

It's all about orchestrated crises.  If there aren't any real ones then make something up.   The Tea Party writings seem to believe Obama is a commie and is leading us straight down the path to hell.   Can anybody tell us why?   Didn't think so, but they sure have gotten popular by making up this stuff.  I mean, they've sure got Sarah Palin kissin' their butt.

Okay, we have a debt crisis--the one that wasn't a problem when it was created by Bush Jr.   Also, homosexuals are apparently some sort of crisis.  As are the illegals who harvest our crops.  Perhaps forcing the gays to pick our strawberries would ease the debt crisis?   Why not.  Makes as much sense as anything else we've heard.

The Tequila Party is jealous of their success.  We must emulate if we hope to get sponsored by Fox News.  Heck, we'd settle for MSNBC.   After that we can worry about finding a babe to kiss our behinds.

So what crises can The Tequila Party create that only we can solve?

#1.  The obvious crisis.   Why does good tequila cost $40-up and who is responsible?   (Per the Tea Party finding the people responsible is key because we must know the enemy).  We don't believe it's right having college freshmen throwing up José Curevo.  Ugh.

#2.  Patrón Tequila has race cars and race car babes--why the hell don't the others?   It's some sort of do-gooder plot.  (Per the Tea Party we need conspiracies).

Did you know there actually was an event labeled the Tequila Crisis?   It was a financial crisis brought about by stupid Mexican politicians in the mid-90s.   The U.S. bailed them out.  Maybe it's Mexico's turn to repay the favor!

Tequila News

You can't make up stuff like this:

In Georgia a home was reported broken into where the thief escaped with hot dogs, a 1.5 liter bottle of (I'm guessing, some really bad) tequila, and cigarettes.

Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top is launching his own tequila brand (hey, if Sammy Hagar can do it) called Pura Vida.

Kenny Chesney has a song called, "You and Tequila" with lyrics like "You and tequila make me crazy."  He sings about it could kill him, how one is two many, but one isn't enough.   Sounds like tequila, huh?

Chef Megan Lambert of North Carolina has a recipe for a Margarita Pie with tequila, Triple Sec, and limes being key ingredients.  It sounds dee-licious.

The Everett, WA paper posted a recipe for a Margarita popsicle.  Yes, tequila, lime juice, and even Cointreau is suggested rather than the cheaper Triple Sec.