THE TEQUILA PARTY!

THE ANTI-TEA PARTY

The Tequila Party is about having so much fun with politics in America that we wind up with our head in the toilet at 2 a.m. Just like you should with tequila. Don't agree with me? Well, who gives a crap. Make yourself a margarita. And use fresh limes, damnit!

I was going to get really angry about all the lies I hear coming from Congress, the White House, Fox News, The Onion, etc., but instead I made a pitcher of margaritas and sat on the back porch. Try it!

What does the Tequila Party stand for? Do we really need a full-blown platform? I mean, the Tea Party seems to only be about getting rid of the black guy who stole the White House from the Republicans. Sore losers.

OK, here we go. Let's not let facts get in the way!

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

You are a member of the Tea Party if

Stereotyping is fun!

You are a member of the Tea Party if you ...

  • Collect social security while complaining that government handouts should be stopped.
  • Want tax breaks for yourself and anyone wealthier than you. But not poorer.
  • Believe liberty means guns, but not the right to control your own body.
  • Believe freedom is for you, but not for gays and immigrants.
  • Believe poor people could be eliminated by letting the rich keep more of their minimum wage.
  • Believe in Constitutional Law the way the founders' wrote it (for land-owning white males).
  • Believe in Creationism because you don't understand science and aren't about to take scientists' word on faith!
  • Plan on moving to Canada if Obama is elected again (where you need a license to own a gun and they have socialized medicine).


And you are a member of The Tequila Party if you ...
 
  • Have ever started an evening with several shots of tequila then woke up on the street the next morning with your pants missing.


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