Chocolate and Tequila Tasting--This is Just Wrong

Okay, our first thought was, "Coffee and chocolate, port and chocolate, even Cabernet and chocolate."   But tequila?    And it gets worse.

In Santa Barbara, CA, the home of the leftists, a charity event was given to help eradicate harassment and prejudice among teens at the local high school.  It's called "The Chocolate and Tequila Tasting Party for the Academy of Healing Arts for Kids" (I told you they were leftists). Oh yeah, there was an inspiring story from someone who said as a teen he was, "Going down the wrong path...abusing drugs and alcohol."

Jose Cuervo-filled chocolates.  Ewwww.

So why not have a fundraiser based on tequila shots?   But skip the damn chocolate.  Please.

A slap in the face to tequila lovers everywhere

Bristol Palin, never one to shy away from attention (much like her mother), has revealed that she lost her virginity while drunk on wine coolers.   And she couldn't even remember the event she says.  Plus she says it was the first time she ever had alcohol.    Yeah, sure.

Well, at least she's not always
drinking and getting pregnant

Why she would go public with a story like this can only be attention whoring.   More disturbing though is the fact that her loss (why do they call it a loss?) happened on something as awful as wine coolers.   If she had been smart enough to get into college this "event" would happen with cheap tequila--a time-honored tradition.  I imagine Sauza and Cuevo have been responsible for this act more than any other drink.

Somehow you knew she wasn't any smarter than her mother.

The Tequila Party's Weiner Contest

The Tequila Party loves good politics and sex scandals.   If only we were French!

But with a guy named Weiner sending out pics of his, well, weener, how can we pass the opportunity?

So what is the Weiner Contest?   Well, it has to relate to underwear with a bulge--that'll be the thrust of the competition.

We need prizes.   How about women's junior sized t-shirts of "I tweet Wiener" for next year's back-to-school wear?   What, not creepy enough?

Whoa!

First, we have to throw in a couple one-liners just because:

• Anthony Weiner's porn name is, uh, Anthony Weiner.
• We hear Boehner is bigger than Weiner.

So, what's the contest?   It's a Weiner contest!   Use your imagination.

The political movement founded by Fox News

Well, that took awhile, but the Tea Party has finally admitted they were founded by the fair and balanced folks over at Fox News.  Tea Party Express founder, Russo, is quoted as saying, "There wouldn't have been a Tea Party without Fox."    Duh.

The Tequila Party has no problem with your news source making the news for you.  Hitler, Stalin, Mao--all those guys did really well using this strategy.   Only issue is why won't some legitimate outfit support the Tequila Party?   We don't need CNN and we all know the print media is dead and doesn't have any money.

This brings up the question as to what is America's news source now?   Twitter?

LinkedIn just went public and has lots of money now so maybe they can help.   What is the connection between a professional / social networking site and the Tequila Party?   I don't think there is any, but that's not important now.

Another option is Jose Cuervo.  They seem to have tons of money.

If Fox News can start up a political movement why not the world's biggest tequila maker?   We'll have to drop them an email sometime to gauge their interest.

Tea Party Splinter Groups

Jeez, the wackos can't even get along!   There's the Tea Party Express, LiberTEA, Tea Party Nation, etc.

The Tea Party Express sounds like drive-through and they list Joe the Plumber as a big shot in their movement.  That's good enough for me!  The Express even shows a couple token black people on their website which is pretty good considering they got thrown out of the Tea Party because their leader made disparaging words towards blacks.  They must be getting the deaf black people.

The Tea Party Nation's website lists horrors like we're running out of food, and Cap-and-Trade will destroy America.   I'm already afraid for my children's future and haven't even made it off their main web page!

The left's wackos, like traditional Democrats, can't even get along with each other.  The Coffee Party started up as an "answer" to the Tea Party (what was the question)?  In the Coffee Party there appears to be no lines of authority and maybe a leader with too much power who fires people he doesn't agree with.  Very Democratic.  Not.  Sounds more like a corporation.  Their motto is "Wake Up and Stand Up."  I wonder if they're secretly funded by Starbucks?

So what does this mean for The Tequila Party?  After all, the potential is there is for breaking up into the Blanco, Repasdo, and Añejo groups or maybe the Blendeds and the Rocks (With or Without Salt).   What would this mean for the movement?    I'm not going to stay up worrying about it.

If someone wants to start up a wacko Chocolate Party I'll be all for joining.  It's not just for black people cuz there's white chocolate, too.  Not sure what that does for Asian descendants though.  And chocolate can have lots of nuts in it so this has the making of something good enough to get lots of free publicity.  Nuts make good news.