The Tequila Party: The Tequila Party and Taxes

THE TEQUILA PARTY!

THE ANTI-TEA PARTY

The Tequila Party is about having so much fun with politics in America that we wind up with our head in the toilet at 2 a.m. Just like you should with tequila. Don't agree with me? Well, who gives a crap. Make yourself a margarita. And use fresh limes, damnit!

I was going to get really angry about all the lies I hear coming from Congress, the White House, Fox News, The Onion, etc., but instead I made a pitcher of margaritas and sat on the back porch. Try it!

What does the Tequila Party stand for? Do we really need a full-blown platform? I mean, the Tea Party seems to only be about getting rid of the black guy who stole the White House from the Republicans. Sore losers.

OK, here we go. Let's not let facts get in the way!

Monday, March 28, 2011

The Tequila Party and Taxes

Per a survey 64% of Tea Partiers believe their taxes have increased under Obama even though taxes have actually gone down. In that same survey the vast majority say they don't like Obama (no surprise), but they couldn't actually give a reason, as the #1 response given was, "I just don't like him."

Using facts like these the Tequila Party should be able to easily come up with a stand on taxes.

We don't like them.

For instance, the California state tax on alcohol is $3.30 per gallon, but only 46.6 cents on gasoline! Where's the justice in that? Here's a better one--in Sarah Palin's home state the gas tax is only 8 cents per gallon, but the liquor tax is $12.80! It's easy to follow the logic: Palin -> Alaska -> tequila tax -> Tea Party = they hate us!

That does it, we are never going to headquarter the Tequila Party in Alaska. I don't care if it is dark and 40 below for six months of the year. We have to boycott Alaska, but first we need to figure out how to get some of their cheap gas down here.

The Tequila Party