Well, that took awhile, but the Tea Party has finally admitted they were founded by the fair and balanced folks over at Fox News. Tea Party Express founder, Russo, is quoted as saying, "There wouldn't have been a Tea Party without Fox." Duh.
The Tequila Party has no problem with your news source making the news for you. Hitler, Stalin, Mao--all those guys did really well using this strategy. Only issue is why won't some legitimate outfit support the Tequila Party? We don't need CNN and we all know the print media is dead and doesn't have any money.
This brings up the question as to what is America's news source now? Twitter?
LinkedIn just went public and has lots of money now so maybe they can help. What is the connection between a professional / social networking site and the Tequila Party? I don't think there is any, but that's not important now.
Another option is Jose Cuervo. They seem to have tons of money.
If Fox News can start up a political movement why not the world's biggest tequila maker? We'll have to drop them an email sometime to gauge their interest.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Friday, June 3, 2011
Tea Party Splinter Groups
Jeez, the wackos can't even get along! There's the Tea Party Express, LiberTEA, Tea Party Nation, etc.
The Tea Party Express sounds like drive-through and they list Joe the Plumber as a big shot in their movement. That's good enough for me! The Express even shows a couple token black people on their website which is pretty good considering they got thrown out of the Tea Party because their leader made disparaging words towards blacks. They must be getting the deaf black people.
The Tea Party Nation's website lists horrors like we're running out of food, and Cap-and-Trade will destroy America. I'm already afraid for my children's future and haven't even made it off their main web page!
The left's wackos, like traditional Democrats, can't even get along with each other. The Coffee Party started up as an "answer" to the Tea Party (what was the question)? In the Coffee Party there appears to be no lines of authority and maybe a leader with too much power who fires people he doesn't agree with. Very Democratic. Not. Sounds more like a corporation. Their motto is "Wake Up and Stand Up." I wonder if they're secretly funded by Starbucks?
So what does this mean for The Tequila Party? After all, the potential is there is for breaking up into the Blanco, Repasdo, and Añejo groups or maybe the Blendeds and the Rocks (With or Without Salt). What would this mean for the movement? I'm not going to stay up worrying about it.
If someone wants to start up a wacko Chocolate Party I'll be all for joining. It's not just for black people cuz there's white chocolate, too. Not sure what that does for Asian descendants though. And chocolate can have lots of nuts in it so this has the making of something good enough to get lots of free publicity. Nuts make good news.
The Tea Party Express sounds like drive-through and they list Joe the Plumber as a big shot in their movement. That's good enough for me! The Express even shows a couple token black people on their website which is pretty good considering they got thrown out of the Tea Party because their leader made disparaging words towards blacks. They must be getting the deaf black people.
The Tea Party Nation's website lists horrors like we're running out of food, and Cap-and-Trade will destroy America. I'm already afraid for my children's future and haven't even made it off their main web page!
The left's wackos, like traditional Democrats, can't even get along with each other. The Coffee Party started up as an "answer" to the Tea Party (what was the question)? In the Coffee Party there appears to be no lines of authority and maybe a leader with too much power who fires people he doesn't agree with. Very Democratic. Not. Sounds more like a corporation. Their motto is "Wake Up and Stand Up." I wonder if they're secretly funded by Starbucks?
So what does this mean for The Tequila Party? After all, the potential is there is for breaking up into the Blanco, Repasdo, and Añejo groups or maybe the Blendeds and the Rocks (With or Without Salt). What would this mean for the movement? I'm not going to stay up worrying about it.
If someone wants to start up a wacko Chocolate Party I'll be all for joining. It's not just for black people cuz there's white chocolate, too. Not sure what that does for Asian descendants though. And chocolate can have lots of nuts in it so this has the making of something good enough to get lots of free publicity. Nuts make good news.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
The Tequila Party and Body Shots
Since we ARE The Tequila Party we must have a political stand on Body Shots.
We like them.
Warnings:
We like them.
Warnings:
- Please don't Body Shot and drive (we have to say that to stay politically correct).
- Body shots are best with someone reasonably attractive (your standards will be lower after two shots).
- Body shots are best with someone who doesn't smell bad (your standards will not lower after a couple).
- Do not do Body Shots of tea with Tea Partiers. Please.
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| Would you really want to lick anything off of this? |
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Tea Partiers Say the Darnedest Things
Funny/scary quotes for our friends on the right:
"People ask me, 'What are you going to do to develop jobs in your state?' Well, that's not my job as a U.S. senator." -- Sharron Angle, May 2010
"We needed to have the press be our friend . We wanted them to ask the questions we want to answer so that they report the news the way we want it to be reported." -- Well yes, Sharron Angle again, during an interview on Fox News, Aug 2010
"It may be tempting and more comfortable to just keep your head down, plod along, and appease those who demand, "Sit down and shut up," but that's the worthless, easy path--that's a quitter's way out." -- Sarah Palin on why she was quitting her job as governor, July 2009.
“What I would say is that the news media should do a penetrating expose and take a look. I wish they would. I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out, are they pro-America or anti-America? I think the American people would love to see an expose like that.” -- Joe McCarthy, um I mean Michele Bachmann, U.S. Rep MN and presidential hopeful, on MSNBC, Oct 2008.
"The exact phrase 'separation of Church and State' came out of Adolph Hitler's mouth, that's where it comes from. So the next time your liberal friends talk about the separation of Church and State, ask them why they're Nazis." -- Glen Urquhart, the Republican nominee for the Delaware House, April 2010
And the most famous quote:
"It is not enough to be abstinent with other people, you also have to be abstinent alone. The Bible says that lust in your heart is committing adultery. You can't masturbate without lust!" -- Delaware GOP Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell, advocating keeping your hands off yourself --1996 MTV interview.
But just to be fair and balanced we need a funny/scary Tequila Party quote:
"Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your margarita."
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| Sharron explaining what you do with your political enemies if the voters won't do the right thing Image from huffingtonpost.com |
"I hope that's not where we're going, but you know if this Congress keeps going the way it is, people are really looking toward those Second Amendment remedies and saying my goodness what can we do to turn this country around? I'll tell you the first thing we need to do is take Harry Reid out." -- Sharron Angle, while she was running for a Nevada Senate seat, on using her Second Amendment rights to kill people she doesn't like -- Jan. 2010 radio interview.
"People ask me, 'What are you going to do to develop jobs in your state?' Well, that's not my job as a U.S. senator." -- Sharron Angle, May 2010
"We needed to have the press be our friend . We wanted them to ask the questions we want to answer so that they report the news the way we want it to be reported." -- Well yes, Sharron Angle again, during an interview on Fox News, Aug 2010
"It may be tempting and more comfortable to just keep your head down, plod along, and appease those who demand, "Sit down and shut up," but that's the worthless, easy path--that's a quitter's way out." -- Sarah Palin on why she was quitting her job as governor, July 2009.
“What I would say is that the news media should do a penetrating expose and take a look. I wish they would. I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out, are they pro-America or anti-America? I think the American people would love to see an expose like that.” -- Joe McCarthy, um I mean Michele Bachmann, U.S. Rep MN and presidential hopeful, on MSNBC, Oct 2008.
"The exact phrase 'separation of Church and State' came out of Adolph Hitler's mouth, that's where it comes from. So the next time your liberal friends talk about the separation of Church and State, ask them why they're Nazis." -- Glen Urquhart, the Republican nominee for the Delaware House, April 2010
And the most famous quote:
 |
| Christine O'Donnell looking like she should stop playing with herself Image from themoderatevoice.com |
"It is not enough to be abstinent with other people, you also have to be abstinent alone. The Bible says that lust in your heart is committing adultery. You can't masturbate without lust!" -- Delaware GOP Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell, advocating keeping your hands off yourself --1996 MTV interview.
But just to be fair and balanced we need a funny/scary Tequila Party quote:
"Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your margarita."
Friday, May 13, 2011
Taking fringe parties seriously
You should! Why? Because they are mad! Haven't you been listening to the Tea Party?
Why won't you take people that dress like this seriously?
Speaking of intelligent...
So what about The Tequila Party protesters? Are we mad? You bet! And we get right to the point damnit!
Why won't you take people that dress like this seriously?
Or try to spark an intelligent conversation over our ideals?
Speaking of intelligent...
So what about The Tequila Party protesters? Are we mad? You bet! And we get right to the point damnit!
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Happy Cinco de Mayo!
The Tequila Party has a much better holiday than the Tea Party!
Which would you rather attend?
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Donald Trump--Why the Tequila Party didn't want him
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| from msn.com -- that commie station |
Donald (You're Fired) Trump is the new darling of the Tea Party. Why? Because he wants to see Obama's birth certificate. Tea Party Darlings seem to go in and out of fashion faster than you can say, "A Black Man stole the White House." Palin, Michele Bachmann, Paul Ryan, Ron Paul ...
Now Donald and his Kennedyesque hair is running but not saying he's running officially because it will cause a national disaster for "Celebrity Apprentice." Actually, rather than Kennedyeque, do you remember Biff from the Back to the Future movies. Yeah, Trump kinda reminds us of him.
So the question is why didn't The Tequila Party pick up Donnie before the Tea Party grabbed him?
Actually, we did this on purpose. The Tequila Party is just waiting in the wings for the right-wingers to discover Trump is a closet liberal. I mean the guy flip-flops worse than a catfish out of water. Four years ago he called Bush Jr. the worst president in history; now he says it's Obama. First he wants to tax the rich, now he doesn't.
So will The Tequila Party pick up this about-facing, mind-changing real estate developer? The guy has no scruples. But he does have money. Hell, he could buy us 1800 Coleccion tequila! ($1800/bottle). Come on Donald, when the right-wing nuts find out what you are really all about we'll be waiting -- for our tequila.
Monday, May 2, 2011
1957 - 2011
Osama bin Deaden
To the guys who took him out --
we owe you several shots of the good stuff!
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Sex Education and the Tequila Party
Tequila and sex. Do those two go together or what? (Ask any college student).
I don't believe I've heard an official stance from the Tea Party on their sex ed beliefs, but I can guess. They aren't getting any themselves so why should anyone else learn about it? Many Conservatives want sex ed left to the back rooms of Congress and airport bathrooms where it belongs.
But tequila and sex. There's a rumor that Natalie Portman and whoever the heck the other woman is in Black Swan knocked back a few shots before getting up the nerve to shoot their sex scene. And there's the "singer" Tila Tequila who, of course, has a sex tape.
So yes, the Tequila Party is all for Sex Education. The more the better.
I don't believe I've heard an official stance from the Tea Party on their sex ed beliefs, but I can guess. They aren't getting any themselves so why should anyone else learn about it? Many Conservatives want sex ed left to the back rooms of Congress and airport bathrooms where it belongs.
But tequila and sex. There's a rumor that Natalie Portman and whoever the heck the other woman is in Black Swan knocked back a few shots before getting up the nerve to shoot their sex scene. And there's the "singer" Tila Tequila who, of course, has a sex tape.
So yes, the Tequila Party is all for Sex Education. The more the better.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
The other Tequila Party
The "other" Tequila Party has roots with Hispanics in Nevada who want their own splinter political party to highlight items important to them. They don't want the old, angry white guys to have all the fun (the Tea Party). If you check the latest census data there are a lot more people of Hispanic background in America now, especially in the West, so it's time to show some muscle, right?
But the Tequila Party? Olé. What a name! You might as well call it the "eight guys in the bed of a pickup truck looking for work" party. Maybe don't mimic the Tea Party quite that closely. The original Boston Tea Party has historic contributions to America. The Tequila Party, well, sounds like a bunch of college kids in a dorm room.
So how do you tie-in Latino contributions to America? How about the Selma Hayek Party! I would avoid the Tony Orlando Party to stay away from the stereotyping similar to using the Tequila Party name.
But the Tequila Party? Olé. What a name! You might as well call it the "eight guys in the bed of a pickup truck looking for work" party. Maybe don't mimic the Tea Party quite that closely. The original Boston Tea Party has historic contributions to America. The Tequila Party, well, sounds like a bunch of college kids in a dorm room.
So how do you tie-in Latino contributions to America? How about the Selma Hayek Party! I would avoid the Tony Orlando Party to stay away from the stereotyping similar to using the Tequila Party name.
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| Come on you guys! Set the right image for your cause! |
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Tea Party-inspired state legislation
Fresh with election victory, or at least making lots of noise, the Tea Party has inspired some wacko local legislation.
Utah (of course): Gold and silver to be recognized as local tender because we all know the Democrats are destroying the dollar. Just ask Glenn Beck.
The Tequila Party stance: How many gold fillings is it going to run for a bottle of Casa Noble Reposado?
North Dakota (who cares): Require everyone to carry a gun. I don't know the details--if this includes alcoholics, the legally insane, child molesters, etc.
The Tequila Party stance: Four shots of tequila and a 9mm--I don't see a problem.
Georgia (hey y'all): Do away with drivers' licenses as driving is an inalienable right.
The Tequila Party stance: Awesome!
Arizona (land o' guns): The state legislature passed a bill for a special license plate to support "Tea Party ideals." Only problem: Local Tea Partiers aren't sure if they want to be seen taking gov't funds.
The Tequila Party stance: What? No "Hire an Illegal" plate?
Kentucky (living up to their image): Make Kentucky a "sanctuary state" for coal mining (the environmental rules don't apply to them).
The Tequila Party stance: It's only Kentucky, nobody'll notice
Iowa (more pigs than people): Allow businesses to refuse goods and services to anyone in a gay marriage.
The Tequila Party stance: There are more pigs than people in Iowa for a reason.
Montana (these guys win!): A slew of great ideas from cowboys living with eight months of winter--it does something to you.
1. Form an armed state militia to repel invaders. Not sure if this is the Feds or Canadians. Or maybe all the Californians that are moving in.
2. Create a state commission that can veto any federal laws they don't like. You know, like the Civil Rights Act or giving women the right to vote.
3. Force people wanting a divorce to go through six weeks of counseling first. This is what you call getting the gov't off people's backs?
4. You can hunt with a silencer on your rifle so you don't scare the deer away when you miss the first time.
The Tequila Party stance: Yikes!
The Tequila Party Summary: We are looking forward to driving unlicensed, intoxicated, while carrying a gold bar and a gun. The Tea Party rules! But we are staying the hell out of Montana.
Utah (of course): Gold and silver to be recognized as local tender because we all know the Democrats are destroying the dollar. Just ask Glenn Beck.
The Tequila Party stance: How many gold fillings is it going to run for a bottle of Casa Noble Reposado?
North Dakota (who cares): Require everyone to carry a gun. I don't know the details--if this includes alcoholics, the legally insane, child molesters, etc.
The Tequila Party stance: Four shots of tequila and a 9mm--I don't see a problem.
Georgia (hey y'all): Do away with drivers' licenses as driving is an inalienable right.
The Tequila Party stance: Awesome!
Arizona (land o' guns): The state legislature passed a bill for a special license plate to support "Tea Party ideals." Only problem: Local Tea Partiers aren't sure if they want to be seen taking gov't funds.
The Tequila Party stance: What? No "Hire an Illegal" plate?
Kentucky (living up to their image): Make Kentucky a "sanctuary state" for coal mining (the environmental rules don't apply to them).
The Tequila Party stance: It's only Kentucky, nobody'll notice
Iowa (more pigs than people): Allow businesses to refuse goods and services to anyone in a gay marriage.
The Tequila Party stance: There are more pigs than people in Iowa for a reason.
Montana (these guys win!): A slew of great ideas from cowboys living with eight months of winter--it does something to you.
1. Form an armed state militia to repel invaders. Not sure if this is the Feds or Canadians. Or maybe all the Californians that are moving in.
2. Create a state commission that can veto any federal laws they don't like. You know, like the Civil Rights Act or giving women the right to vote.
3. Force people wanting a divorce to go through six weeks of counseling first. This is what you call getting the gov't off people's backs?
4. You can hunt with a silencer on your rifle so you don't scare the deer away when you miss the first time.
The Tequila Party stance: Yikes!
The Tequila Party Summary: We are looking forward to driving unlicensed, intoxicated, while carrying a gold bar and a gun. The Tea Party rules! But we are staying the hell out of Montana.
Friday, April 8, 2011
The Tequila Party and the Gulf Oil Spill
We are against it.
The Tea Party actually has an official stand on this. They say the President is trying to extort money out of corporations by telling BP they have to pay for their mess.
We are (almost) speechless with this one. We would like to take whomever wrote this item for the Tea Party, hold them to the ground, and force mass quantities of Tres Generaciones down their throat. Or maybe that's too good for them. How about Sauza?
That is all.
The Tea Party actually has an official stand on this. They say the President is trying to extort money out of corporations by telling BP they have to pay for their mess.
We are (almost) speechless with this one. We would like to take whomever wrote this item for the Tea Party, hold them to the ground, and force mass quantities of Tres Generaciones down their throat. Or maybe that's too good for them. How about Sauza?
That is all.
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