THE TEQUILA PARTY!

THE ANTI-TEA PARTY

The Tequila Party is about having so much fun with politics in America that we wind up with our head in the toilet at 2 a.m. Just like you should with tequila.
Don't agree with me? Well, who gives a crap. Make yourself a margarita. And use fresh limes, damnit!

I was going to get really angry about all the lies I hear coming from Congress, the White House, Fox News, The Onion, etc., but instead I made a pitcher of margaritas and sat on the back porch. Try it!

What does the Tequila Party stand for? Do we really need a full-blown platform? I mean, the Tea Party seems to only be about getting rid of the black guy who stole the White House from the Republicans. Sore losers.

OK, here we go. Let's not let facts get in the way!

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Improving the Olympics with Tequila

How would the Tequila Party improve the Olympic games? And maybe even get people to care about something their country doesn't win? Some ideas:

Most Tequila Shots - Obviously this game has been played since your college days and to be an Olympian Tequila Shooter doesn't mean standing in a room full of other screaming drunks while you see who passes out last. This is done in the Olympics with the uneven parallel bars. All shots are consumed while in the position below.  Think that ain't difficult?

Tequila Shooter - Skeet shooting is fun and all and the clay doesn't really get hurt. What if you drink a shot of tequila then throw the glass in the air and have to hit it? A shot glass too small?  Fine, you can use a damn pint glass if you wish, but you still have to drink the all the tequila it holds. How many shots can you go before you miss? Or don't care if you miss? Or don't even notice you've missed?

Synchronized Tequila Shots - Yes, it's swimming with shots of tequila and everyone has to drink it at the same time. But it's more difficult than that because this is the Olympics. Everyone is swimming in a circle and you must lick the salt off the person's arm next to you--all done in complete synchronization.

Just watching on TV? You can participate, too! Anytime you hear how much a participant has sacrificed in their life just to be a pampered athlete without a real job you get a shot of tequila!


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