The Tequila Party: Reducing the Role of Gov't

THE TEQUILA PARTY!

THE ANTI-TEA PARTY

The Tequila Party is about having so much fun with politics in America that we wind up with our head in the toilet at 2 a.m. Just like you should with tequila. Don't agree with me? Well, who gives a crap. Make yourself a margarita. And use fresh limes, damnit!

I was going to get really angry about all the lies I hear coming from Congress, the White House, Fox News, The Onion, etc., but instead I made a pitcher of margaritas and sat on the back porch. Try it!

What does the Tequila Party stand for? Do we really need a full-blown platform? I mean, the Tea Party seems to only be about getting rid of the black guy who stole the White House from the Republicans. Sore losers.

OK, here we go. Let's not let facts get in the way!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Reducing the Role of Gov't

The main goal of the Tea Party is reducing the role of government in people's lives. Who can't agree with that?

I'm assuming that means stuff like:

Don't prosecute people for crimes that don't hurt someone else--dope smoking, prostitution, etc.
Don't interfere with a woman's right to do what she wants with her pregnancy.
Don't tell people they can't get married just because they're the same sex.
Don't tell me what religion, if any, is right.
The gov't shouldn't kill it's citizens, like capital punishment.
Gov't representatives shouldn't be able to tell a religious organization where they can build a temple.

No? That's not what they're about?   I guess I'm confused on this whole reducing gov't thing.

If we can't figure out the Tea Party's actual stance then what can the Tequila Party do to clarify the situation?   Let's try honesty: We want the government out of our life, but we want them to control those we don't like.   There, that wasn't so hard!

So, is there anybody we don't like?   Are you asking before or after a few shots of Añejo tequila?

Exhibit 1: Do these young ladies look like they hate anyone right now?

Exhibit 2: Do you believe this guy is pissed about the last major vote in the Senate right now?

I think our role in reducing Big Brother in our life is clear. Leave me and my tequila alone! Dammit. Don't make me get up off the floor and come over there ...

The Tequila Party