Republican Candidate of the Month

Welcome to the Republican primary and the COTM.  Bachmann, Perry, Cain, Gingrich, and even Ron Paul!  Some dropped out because they were discovered to be crazy, some because they can't keep their you-know-what in their pants. Anything to avoid Romney apparently. He's from one of them liberal states and he gave the people what they wanted--health insurance. OMG.  Stick to principles not the will of the people.  (Just ask Congress).

Once the primaries actually kick-off the real candidates will float to the top. The question is besides Romney, who?

The scary / funny part is you just know Palin can't wait to jump in--she needs the attention. No, she craves the attention. It has noting to do with serving the people as she showed by quitting as governor. Does she really think she has a chance or is her goal to be Romney's vice president? She'd be a good VP in that we have a history of VP's saying dumb things (Biden) or just being dumb (Quayle).

I mean, we apparently can't get too much of the Kardashians so maybe we won't ever get tired of Sarah. She can keep showing up every once in awhile "when duty calls."

The Tequila Party plans on sitting back in front of the fire this winter with a glass of Patrón and watch the self-destruction continue.

Merry Christmas

From the Tequila Party.

May Santa give you everything you want ...

Tea Party-supported candidate merry-go-round

In the upcoming election it appears the Tea Party will back anybody as long as it's not Mitt Romney.  I mean, Newt Gingrich?  Seriously?  Are these the same people that are against big government, cronyism and for family values?  Which part of Newt's background did you miss?

Though it seems if the Tea Party was really for smaller gov't and not just a big gov't that aligns with their beliefs then they'd be all in behind Ron Paul.

Who does the Tequila Party support? Anybody that will get us back to work!

Unfortunately, nobody like that is running.

Tea Party holiday gift ideas

For your favorite true American/bigot/patriot/red neck (you choose).


Book: Ann Coulter's "Treason: Liberal Treachery from the Cold War to the War on Terrorism." Includes the "truth" about the  McCarthy era.
If you look up "crazy bigot" you should find her picture.

The Hillary Clinton nut cracker
Now that's funny right there.

The Waterboard Game
The kids will never lie to you again.

A bumper sticker for their Suburban

And the best gift of all...

And for The Tequila Party person in your life?

Tequila is stronger than Tea!

Well, it is!   And if you don't already know that then all we can say is:  What the HELL is wrong with y'all?

Look!
The Moraccan tea party!

We all know tequila is a gift from the gods (except for Jose Cuervo, of course, it's straight from the devil).  Tea is used for high-brow social gathering in places like the UK and, gasp, the Middle East!   Does the Tea Party know this?   And tea comes in black and green. You don't hear about old white tea do you?

We could go on about why tequila is better than tea, but it's happy hour ...

Judson Phillips--Leader of the Tea Party Nation

Phillips is a criminal defense attorney from Tennessee.  His job should be enough to tell you he's not good with the truth.   Let's see what he's been up to.

Look! He's a middle-aged
white guy in a suit!

He believes President Obama made the announcement that we'd got bin Laden during Donald Trump's Celebrity Apprentice show on purpose.

Tequila-inspired response: Everything happened because of Bush Jr. You know that.

The Tucson shooter of Giffords and others was a liberal lunatic according to Phillips.

Tequila-inspired response: Gun-totin' Commies--they're everywhere!

Some of the Tea Party Nation members are a bit upset at the costs to get into the group's events as Phillips has stated he wants to make a million dollars from the movement.

Tequila-inspired response: Why not? There's plenty of for-profit "religions."

Judson Phillips is being sued by a Vegas hotel where he reneged on rooms he booked for a Tea Party convention that never happened.

Tequila-inspired response: The hookers are pissed, too.

He believed the "gay barbarians" are mean because they are out to get poor Michelle Bachmann.

Tequila-inspired response: Mean? At least the Tea Party demonstrations are soooo polite.

And, of course, he still believe Obama isn't really a citizen.

Tequila-inspired response: If you can prove it once you should be able to prove it over-and-over unless you're hiding something.

He's been quoted as saying you should have to be a  property owner to be able to vote.  Great idea as there would be a lot of  poor people, young people and old people who wouldn't be able to vote.


Tequila-inspired response: What an asshole!

A Tea Party Halloween

Tea Party Nation says, "Stop Hiring!"

That for-profit political organization, the Tea Party Nation, has told it's members to not hire anyone during the rest of Obama's first term.  Why?  To make him look bad and help defeat him in the next election.

Well, that's a new approach to politics.  Screw the unemployed.  Personal political results over country!

We hope them don't call themselves true Americans.  Or Christians.


What is The Tequila Party's view?  We say put people to work on mass transit. It sure would be nice to get a train ride home after three shots of Reposado during happy hour!

Tea Party and the Wall Street Protestors

What's the difference between the Tea Party and the Occupy Wall Street protesters?  Are they both fringe elements with single agenda items?

I guess the biggest difference would be the people. The Wall Streeters are young and are of  different colors!  Both say we've been shafted on the American Dream. Tea Partiers say it's strictly the government's fault--more specifically the Democrats.  Wall Streeters say it's the evil corporations who are trying to, gasp, make money!

The Tea Party is anti-bailout, anti-stimulus, sort of anti-corporate welfare, and definitely anti-big gov't.  The Wall Street protesters?  Not sure if they're anti any of those.  I think they just want jobs.

So exactly which America do the Tea Party and the Occupy Wall Street groups want back?  Is it the same one?  Or complete opposites? And do they really want something back (meaning they once had it) or do they want to turn society into their version of Utopia?

Wouldn't it be interesting if they both got politically stronger (the Tea Party is doing pretty well currently) and formed a common anti-the-way-things-are-now-in-Washington message?  The Establishment would be runnin' scared!

No, these definitely aren't Tea Party people

What does The Tequila Party think of all this?  We will join in with whichever side has the biggest margarita machine!

Another reason the Tequila Party is better than the Tea Party

Tea Party girls

Tequila girls

You decide which is right for you!

Tea Party Accessories

You can't have an organization and not sell trinkets.  I'm surprised the Tea Party doesn't have a wine club yet!


Of course, everyone has t-shirts

and bumper stickers.  Ho hum

A nice tote bag that speaks the truth as only certain type of people see it.

This sign for your front yard is cool.
Use it if your neighbor's house is up for sale to keep the Blacks, Mexicans and Muslims from moving in.

So it's now apparent The Tequila Party needs to get into merchandising.   First, any good marketeer will want to play on what people associate with a particular name.

Okay, we've got your basic t-shirt, too

But we've even got a tequila "shooter"

Of course, many tequila lovers might want a t-shirt like this...

Creating Crises

We were trying to figure out why the Tea Party folks are so damn angry and what exactly they are angry about.   Then, after two shots (maybe more) of Casa Noble Reposado, it hit us like well, like a shot of tequila!

It's all about orchestrated crises.  If there aren't any real ones then make something up.   The Tea Party writings seem to believe Obama is a commie and is leading us straight down the path to hell.   Can anybody tell us why?   Didn't think so, but they sure have gotten popular by making up this stuff.  I mean, they've sure got Sarah Palin kissin' their butt.

Okay, we have a debt crisis--the one that wasn't a problem when it was created by Bush Jr.   Also, homosexuals are apparently some sort of crisis.  As are the illegals who harvest our crops.  Perhaps forcing the gays to pick our strawberries would ease the debt crisis?   Why not.  Makes as much sense as anything else we've heard.

The Tequila Party is jealous of their success.  We must emulate if we hope to get sponsored by Fox News.  Heck, we'd settle for MSNBC.   After that we can worry about finding a babe to kiss our behinds.

So what crises can The Tequila Party create that only we can solve?

#1.  The obvious crisis.   Why does good tequila cost $40-up and who is responsible?   (Per the Tea Party finding the people responsible is key because we must know the enemy).  We don't believe it's right having college freshmen throwing up José Curevo.  Ugh.

#2.  Patrón Tequila has race cars and race car babes--why the hell don't the others?   It's some sort of do-gooder plot.  (Per the Tea Party we need conspiracies).

Did you know there actually was an event labeled the Tequila Crisis?   It was a financial crisis brought about by stupid Mexican politicians in the mid-90s.   The U.S. bailed them out.  Maybe it's Mexico's turn to repay the favor!